will you?
by jfiggaz
Summary: Maura just took a job as head of forensic science at George Washington University. Will Rizzles survive?  The story is mine but the characters belong to some other people. First fic.
1. Chapter 1

It was over. Jane sat at the Dirty Robber with a beer in one hand and fumbled with the platinum engagement ring in the other. She had retuned to Boston that morning and started drinking at Logan as soon as she deplaned. It was afternoon before she hailed a cab drop her off at her neighborhood bar.

"Shot down," Frankie shrugged as he snatched the ring from his sister's hand.

"Never asked," Jane muttered signaling the bartender for another beer.

"When does Jane Rizzoli chose to not "man" up," Frankie chuckled, "No pun intended."

"I couldn't ask her to stay, as much as I wanted too it just seemed to unfair. Maura is brilliant and though I tease her for being a walking Google, she needs to be with other brilliant minds. I mean my girlfriend, correction ex-girlfriend is head of forensic pathology at George Washington University. How could I ask her to stay, Frankie?"

"Janie, you couldn't. I hate to sound cliché but if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then you know. Don't tell Tommy but I think you guys were good together. Ma loved her must have sent Maura with ten casseroles, before you guys drove Maura's car down to D.C. C'mon Janie, long distance really was just out of the question? I hate to agree with Ma but Janie who will love you more, who could you love more than Maura. Pop said she was your saving grace."

" Frankie, really? Can't I brood in peace? Pop is sick and I just took over as interim of Captain of Boston homicide. Her work load…my work load and the distance. I mean we just didn't want it to end badly like which is inevitable for most long distance relationships. Although, I wish there was screaming, slander, and swearing. Sometimes I hoped for an all out battle with scars and bruises instead of the overwhelming task of letting go."

Frankie patted the back of his sister like when she was fifteen and he was ten after Jonny Rosado, Jane's first love, dumped her after Mass. Instead of sitting on the stoop drinking Cokes as the they had done twenty years ago; They knocked back shots of tequila and sang old Matchbox Twenty songs before Frankie put his older sister in a cab.

"Everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking of somebody else," Jane belted in the hallway as she fumbled for keys. Jane opened the door, surprised to see the lights on and Maura weeping at a home video of Jane's thirty-fifth surprise party in the Florida keys. Jane forgot she left it in the DVD player before she and Maura spent their last night together at Maura's boxed up house. For a moment Jane remembered the smell of the salt air, the softness of Maura hands over her eyes to ensure "no peeking." The smiles of Maura, their friends, Frost and Korsack. The cadence of the "I love you" which Maura whispered in her ear right before she blew out the candles. The only thing that could top the party, was that night. The intoxicating fragrance of Maura's perfume, the resistance of the silk negligee between Jane's teeth, the taste of the beads of sweat that gathered beneath Maura's collar bone. A year had barely even passed and they were already sobbing over the faded memory.

"Where were you," Maura chided as she quickly dried her face with a handkerchief.

"That birthday sure beat the stove blowing up and a burnt rug. You left, remember," Jane sighed collapsing on the couch next to Maura.

"You didn't give me a reason to stay. You're cranky, I get that. We've been friends for years and been dating for three but you've become irascible. I'm tired of wondering if it's me. I'm tired of questioning myself when I touch you why you no longer light up or why the majority of our conversations are about work. When you said " I love you" my soul would set a blaze and now it's just a flame. Maybe it's me, why aren't we the couple in this video?"

"Maura, I don't know what you want me to say. I'm not sure why you are here instead of DC where I left you this morning. I'm not sure why you insist on making this more excruciatingly painful than it is already. I love you and you are my very best friend," Jane said slowly.

"I love you too Jane but this is not about love," Maura cried.

"What is this about Maura?"

"Respect, respect of your feelings and mine. I know that your father had a stroke and there is tension between you and Korsack because they chose to promote you over him. You have been cold, you have systematically shut down, you haven't felt like a friend. We've been through Hoyt, Doyle, my parents and you have always come to me. Janie I can't understand, why now is different, why do you have to be so strong and aloof."

"I love you, Maura, more than you'll ever know. You are my best friend. I've been walking around with this in my pocket for four months," Jane chided.

Jane pulled out the ring and placed it on her coffee table among the files of open cases, wine corks, and beer bottles. Maura opened the ring box to find a Claddaugh ring with an emerald stone in the middle of the heart.

"A Claddagh ring. Jane it is beautiful. They say Claddagh ring was created by a blacksmith who left Ireland to make his fortune and was enslaved by pirates in the Caribbean. He some how in an Odysseus fashion made it back to Ireland to find his sweetheart unmarried. Apparently the woman refused to marry because of her love for the blacksmith and he created her this ring," Maura said.

"I know Garret asked with one of those fancy Tiffany rings, I just didn't want to," Jane shrugged.

"Are you asking?"

"No, not because I don't love you or I don't want to be your friend. The opportunity at George Washington was what you've been working towards the last few years. I'm sorry Boston U didn't offer you a position but sweetheart I can't say I love you and stand in your way. I didn't want you resenting me for pressuring to stay in Boston. Maura I'm no Einstein or Bass, I'm just a street smart broad from Charlestown. Not to mentioned I didn't want you overwhelmed with all my family drama with Pop and Korsack. I love you to much to bum you out. And though I don't say as often as I should; Maura your smile keeps me going, your laugh, your goofiness, and the unending supply of encyclopedic facts. Who was I to ask you stay."

"Why do you insist on being so selfish? I've waited my life for someone like you. A true friend, a caring lover and you stole that away from me; for my benefit? Jane I have shelves, racks of awards and accolades and though I would have loved to sculpt young minds. I would rather wear your Boston PD t-shirt, dozing between and during innings of a Red Sox game. I would rather you bring my coffee in the morgue every morning when we get to work with that gaze like you're seeing me for the first time that day. I love you, Jane Rizzoli and whatever insecurities that plague that thick skull you need to let it go. You are not in competition with my past because I chose you. I have a family because of you, your mother dotes on me like she gave birth to me, Frankie is like my little brother, and my heart broke with your when your father had his accident. Stop pushing me away because you feel inadequacies."

The room fell silent but peaceful like the calm after the storm. The only sound was laughter from the DVD. Jane began to weep she laid her head on Maura's lap as the doctor ran her fingers through her dark brown curls. They stayed that way glued to that position for an hour until Maura announced they needed sleep. Jane hopped off of Maura's lap and extended her hand, the ME then kissed the healed but fresh scars upon the detective's hands and they walked to the bedroom.

No teddies, no lace Maura slipped on her silk pajama top while Jane tried to scrub the stench of Tequila and self pity from her pores in the shower. Maura wanted to meditate while she waited for the detective but felt too frazzled and tired to attempt. She stared at the engagement ring the weight of platinum around her finger, the intricate detail of two hands holding an emerald heart and she wondered how Jane managed to keep it from her. The doctor was also impressed by the quality of the ring Jane must have invested quite a bit to purchase a ring of that caliber. The detective emerged from the bathroom, her long brunette mane covered in a towel but nothing else. Jane slipped on a pair of Incredible Hulk pajama pants and a plain white tee shirt over her damp and exhausted body.

"Jane I want a better engagement proposal. Although, you haven't proposed; some drunken presentation after an afternoon at the Dirty Robber won't cut it," Maura whispered.

"Oh Dr. Isles I had it all planned out. After we closed the Guthrie case, the Mayor said I could have access to one of the luxury boxes at a Sox game. I was going to invite the Rizzoli clan, our friends, and of course Frost. And after the seven inning stretch the Jumbotron was going to say "Dr. Maura Isles will you marry me?" It was truly going to be beautiful."

"Your being sarcastic and smug now," Maura chided.

"Maura remember after your first interview three months ago at G-dub. Your flight was cancelled due to the snowstorm in Washington. We had tickets to the Boston Pop featuring Yo-Yo Ma. Well before Ma walked off the stage, he was going to say. "Maura, Janie wants to know if you will marry her?"

"Really Jane, please stop."

"I wish I was making it up but the Mayor told Ma he was doing a personal favor to the city of Boston if he asked that question. Unfortunately, the snow storm ruined everything the show was cancelled and still hasn't been rescheduled, the flight was cancelled, and my plans were cancelled. I don't why but I took it as a sign, that maybe you needed to be in DC."

"Jane," was all Maura could mutter. "What do you want now?"

"The same thing I've wanted since our first kiss in my mother's kitchen, you. I've always wanted you."

Jane laid her lanky body next Maura and began to kiss down her shoulder blade. The doctor ran her thin fingers down the spine of her lover as she kissed her forehead. The detective position herself on top of the petite reddish blonde ME slowly moving her long fingers up Maura's inner thighs. Just before Jane slipped her fingers into the doctor's sweet spot, Maura grabbed the detective's hand.

"Stop, we aren't that couple that just whitewashes everything with sex. Jane, you made me feel alone and abandoned over the last three months even within your presence. I regressed to that ten year old girl looking for boarding schools to please parents because I want to conserve their affection. I'm not that little girl anymore and I swore I would never be and you brought me back to that place. I know we all have our own demons and battles, you have a lot on your plate but I need to assured you won't hide from me. I need your honesty even when you think it might hurt because I don't need your protection. Jane, I need you!"

"I messed up, Maura. I'm incredibly sorry I didn't make you feel you were the amazing, beautiful, and talented woman, I always dote. I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I'm not sure how to make this right and repair the fractures."

"Do something that no one has been able to do for me since I've been born. Fight for me! And I know it sounds so Dickensian, so Tennessee Williams but fight for me. You made me believe love is all you need and now I don't know.

Morning came with a vengeance. Maura was gone and the hangover from countless drinks Jane down had taken their toll. Jane made her hangover remedy in the kitchen, hot sauce, a raw egg, orange juice and tomato juice followed by half a gallon of water. Jane was halfway through the gallon of water when Maura walked through the dorm.

"I thought you headed back to the Capital," Jane grimaced.

"I don't have meetings until ten Monday morning and I had to have one more Rizzoli Sunday dinner before I left."

"Where did you go?"

" Bikram yoga. I had to clear my head, lately you and I have exceeded my capacity to handle."

"Babe I understand. You said fight and I'm willing to brawl with everything I have."

"Jane do you remember the first time you showed romantic affection for me. We were washing dishes after a Sox games and my hand innocently touched yours as you passed the dripping glass to dry. We looked at each other. Then you touched my hand again and held it sopping and wet. And you said "All I've dreamed about is holding your hand" and you kissed my forehead. I said…."

"Do you love me, I mean more than a friend," I asked.

"And then you kissed me and you tasted like Amstel lights, lasagna, and spearmint gum. I melted like a popsicle in the summer sun and for moment I was nothing but a puddle. Whether you believed it or not I had nothing witty, charming, I had nothing to say. I couldn't logic myself around this moment. Then your mother walked in and the moment evaporated into washing dishes."

"Then I drove you home," Jane smiled.

"Then you drove me home and kissed me again in the doorway. I began to shake from the fall breeze, then you wrapped your arms around me and whispered,"

"I know what could warm you up," Jane interrupted. "Then you lead me to your bedroom and I unbuttoned your jersey as you unbuttoned mine. I kissed your neck, then worked my way down slow and deliberately to your navel


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own anything except the story. The character belong to some other people.

"Then I stopped you," Maura smiled, "I still remember the look of panic on your face as you froze."

"I was terrified. I mean I had just pulled your underwear down and I had already began to salivate like a rabbit dog. And you said "stop." I thought you were going to tell me to grab my clothes and go" Jane laughed "But you didn't. You picked me up off my knees and kissed me."

The kitchen grew silent as both the ME and the detective reminisced about their first night. Jane shivered from the electrifying memory as Maura let a single tear fall from her hazel eyes. Jane's phone rang interrupting the peaceful moment.

"Hey Ma," Jane said as she place a kiss on Maura's forehead before she returned to the bedroom.

"I just wanted to make sure you're not missing Sunday dinner tonight. I don't want you to bury yourself under paperwork now that you let Maura slip away. I imagined you two getting married and finally having grandchildren but you always had to do things the hard way," Angela Rizzoli grimaced.

"Ma I'm coming and Maura is too. She somehow escaped from her row house in DC back to my apartment in Boston. You wouldn't be aware of this would you," Jane smiled.

"No," Angela grinned "I am glad that you two work things out."

"Don't put the cart before the horse," Jane chided.

Maura slipped away in the middle of Jane's argument with her mother to take a shower. She undressed, then removed the diamond studs, David Yourman bracelet, then she noticed the engagement ring. She hadn't taken it off since Jane put the box on the coffee table. Maura always expected Jane to propose although they never really spoke about marriage unless Angela brought it up. "Angela," Maura chuckled to herself. She and Jane had barely been together a month and hadn't told anyone when Angela blurted out one Sunday dinner "It's no secret girls. Maura , know that you are a very welcomed addition to our family. Jane I still want you to wear a dress at the wedding. Also, who will be carrying my grandchildren?"

Jane olive complexion turned pale white as Maura's became beet red. Frankie and Frank were both choking on gnocchi as Angela continued "I mean you two had to be at least dating for a year. I'm liberal. I voted for Obama. I noticed you two must be dating after the marathon. Janie you caught a killer and still decided to run the 26 miles because you didn't want to disappoint Maura. YOU HATE RUNNING Janie so I figured it must be love. I just wanted to let you two know I've made my peace and I want grandchildren."

"Ma," Jane chided. The color had slowly returned to her face. "I guess thank-you for saving me a conversation but Maura and I are taking it slow. I can't believe you already have us kneeling in front of a priest." Jane grabbed Maura's hand, kissed then leaned over and whispered in Maura's ear "I know the dress and the priest is not in the near future but hopefully in the future."

As Maura wiped off the steam from the bathroom mirror, she noticed her big kool-aid smile.

"I miss that smile," Jane said which interrupted Maura's private moment.

"I didn't see you there Jane," Maura whispered as she quickly grabbed a towel to cover her exposed body.

"Nothing I haven't seen before Maur. It's only eleven, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab brunch. I went on open table and made reservations at Café Fleuri. So get dressed quickly because they're for twelve and you know that place is always packed."

"Sure," Maura sighed "Oh wait Jane don't forget this." Maura handed Jane the Claddagh ring but their eyes met for a long intense gaze. Tears began to well in Maura eyes, then they began to fall but Jane wiped the falling tears and kissed each of Maura's eyelids.

"I'm asking Maura," Jane smiled "Don't worry there will be a grandioso gesture. I mean I plan to pull out all the stops and woo you m'lady. Nonetheless, the ring belongs on your finger and I don't have the heart to carry it around for another four months."

"I haven't said yes, it would be improper for me to walk around with the ring." Maura sighed.

"C'mon Maur let's just stop this. During the cab ride home last night all I could think about how many times we almost lost each other. You might be socially inept but so am I especially when it comes to relationships. Look tomorrow is not promise and we are living proof of that. I want to spend the rest of my tomorrows with you, however many are left. When I came home last night and you were sitting on my couch there was a sense of indescribable relief. For the first time in months I could breathe."

"Jane," Maura paused. "I want a real engagement party. Nothing at the Dirty Robber."

"So is that a yes."

"It's a maybe, depends on where my party is being held. Of course, Jane I want the priest and the dress with you."

"You remembered?"

The detective leaned into the ME for a long passionate kiss. She basked in the dampness of her lover's skin against the rough material of her jeans and t-shirt. Jane tried to remove the towel between them but Maura caught her hands.

"Rizzoli," she whimpered "You're not getting off that easy before we get married we are going to counseling. I'm serious about working through my and your apprehensions." The towel dropped to the floor, Jane picked up her blushing bride and began the process of reconciliation.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane counted the days feverishly until Maura returned to Boston. She spent her nights wrapped up with one of Maura's Marc Jacob's dresses which was now covered in drool. Although, Maura had only been gone for week Jane showed the stress signs of withdrawal. She had dark circles under her eyes, her skin was dry and pasty, and she could not stop fidgeting. The only place she felt halfway decent was behind her mahogany desk in her office, where she stared at the gold lettering on the glass pane on her door that read Captain Jane Rizzoli. Jane found herself in a slight grin until Korsak walked through the door.

"I hear congratulations are in order. Jesus Jane, you look like shit," Korsak said as he dropped a file of a closed case on Jane's desk. "I know we haven't been talking lately but the Doc is a great girl. You're lucky to have her."

"Thanks," Jane laughed. "Sit down a min will ya Korsak. This is the most you've said to me in a couple of months. I didn't know I was Cavanaugh's successor, this is all politics. The Mayor wanted a woman as a high police official to take over to show diversity. You know I would never go behind your back."

"I know Janie. My anger wasn't towards you it just this old dog is tired of being passed over. It wasn't easy for me and I'm sorry I made it difficult for you. Although it still hard for me to think of lil Janie as brass." Korsak picked up a picture of he and Jane of there first day as partners over ten years ago. After the rough three months they'd been through it warmed the seasoned detective to see the familiar photograph.

"So I can expect you to be a groomsman," Jane stated.

" Hell yeah. A lesbian wedding with two of the hottest woman in law enforcement. I will be there with bells on. You never know I might meet wife number four. After all I met two and three at weddings." Korsak rose out of the chair then paused. "I'm really glad you and Maura worked things out. I was worried you were going to be bull headed like me and miss out on true love. Janie, yours and Maura's is one of the greatest stories I ever had the pleasure to witness."

"Thanks, Vince," Jane smiled "Wait Korsak, did you ever go to counseling with any of your wives?"

"One and three," Korsak scoffed

"Your experience was that great," Jane whispered as she leaned forward in chair.

"For me therapy was like a ceiling fan .Everyone just talked around in circles and I was out of a couple of hundred every two weeks. Maura says she wants counseling? Well my best advice is to go in with the biggest open mind possible and try to listen. You can't be the job in therapy."

"The job?" Jane looked puzzled.

"You know the job, Rizzoli. No tough skin, walls, and hidden emotions. If Maura's hurting you can't treat her like the family of a vic, at arms length."

"Umph," was all that Jane squeezed out. Korsak gave her a smile before he left her with her thoughts.

"I'm not late," Jane screeched as she slid through the front doors of Dr. Carletha Watson's office. Dr. Watson's office was a refurbished 1920's home with the original wainscoting, one of the many that was save from the wrecking ball in the early 1990's in Somerville. The waiting area was decorated in traditional American and was bright and well light from all the stained glass windows that surrounded the foyer.

"Barely," Maura smiled. Jane leaned over to Maura a quick peck on the lips before she collapsed on the antique couch beside her.

"There is literally no parking on this street. I had to park three blocks over which cause me sprint," Jane panted, "I'm sorry babe Frankie had to pick you up from the airport. The body count always rises at the end of summer."

"I know it's because the heat index is usually greater in August. Heat exhaustion has been known to alter human beings cognitive decisions making them more aggressive and less tolerant. We always had a high autopsy count during the summer. I'm just glad you made it here five minutes before we see Dr. Watson. Did you get the emails of her profile."

"Yeah Maur, undergrad at Howard, Med school at Oxford, and she did her rotation here in Boston in conjunction with Harvard. Also she teaches at BU and specializes in minority especially same-sex relationship couples. She is one of the most prominent African American medical professionals in the country and one of the most prominent figures in Boston. I got them, read them."

"I just didn't want you to think I picked out a quack. I know how therapist make you feel uncomfortable," Maura said.

It wasn't long after Maura finished her sentence that the receptionist told them that Dr. Watson was ready to see them. Dr. Watson's office was decorated much differently than the reception area. She displayed African masks, Kenta cloths, and bamboo trees flooded the corners of her office. Her skin was the hue of coke, she wore thick but fashionable PRADA glasses, and her hair was in unruly curls pulled back by a black head ban.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Carletha Watson," Dr. Watson said with a warm smile. "You must be Captain Rizzoli and Dr. Isles."

"Please, Maura and Jane," Maura grinned. "We feel so fortunate that you were able to squeeze us into your tight schedule."

"Well any friend of Barry is a friend of mine," Dr. Watson said.

"Barry Frost?" Jane questioned.

"Barack," Maura whispered in Jane's ear.

"Oh, Barack," Jane smiled "Not even a week in DC and she's calling in executive favors."

"Maura you have sent some extensive background on Jane and yourself," Dr Watson pulled the thick folder from her file cabinet. "I don't think I've ever had a patient send so much information. So why do you two think you need a "tune up" as you stated here Maura?"

"We want to get married and I can't marry Jane because of the deterioration of our relationship over the last six months. Jane until recently refused to acknowledge there was even a problem. I want some assurances before I make a lifelong commitment to Jane. It took her four months to propose after she had the ring and the only reason I feel she did it was because I moved to DC," Maura said matter of factly.

"Jane, would you like to address what Maura is saying," Dr. Watson smiled.

Rizzoli was quiet, her hands had began to shake as she mulled over responses in her mind. "Fuck" was the only word that kept flashing in her brain but she took a deep breath and thought of Korsak's advice then choked "I'm not superwoman. Even though most of my life I feel that's what everyone expected me to be. My old partner Frost's ringtone for me is Alicia Keys "Superwoman". I've never been a Keys fan in fact "Superwoman" is the only song I know but she says "Even when I'm a mess, I still put on my vest, with a "S" on my chest, oh yes I'm a superwoman." That's what I've been doing for the past year putting a façade over the mess." Jane turned to Maura who was now on the verge of tears and whispered "I'm not superwoman."

"Jane, I know you're not invincible. I wish that you'd stop pretending," Maura breathed as she grabbed Jane's trembling hand.

"Do you Maura? Then why did you leave me?,"

"You told me to go follow my dreams. And you did it so dryly, you were emotionless. Jane you called the moving company. It seemed like I was one less thing with to deal. Aren't we all tragic cases for Jane Rizzoli to solve, fix and file away," Maura chided.

"Fuck you," Jane spat hoarsely "You think you've got this all figured out, you read my facial expressions and my body language. If I've turned us into a case, well you sure as hell have turned us into a clinical study. What are my occipitofrontalis doing now? Does it say that I'm pissed, that I'm angry? My father, my hero the strongest man I ever thought I'd see, had been reduced to the motor skills of an infant. He couldn't talk or feed himself."

"Don't use Frank as an excuse for your behavior," Maura interjected "I screened all the nurses, in home care, when there was none I helped your mother change diapers and feeding tubes. I got him the best speech pathologist, PT, in Boston and you, your mother, and Frankie support groups. Which you decided not to attend. You can't solve every disaster by shooting yourself Jane, proverbially taking one for the team."

"Corners ladies," Dr Watson interrupted "It seems we have to deal with more than a tune-up but an overhaul. We have twenty minutes left and I never let my patients leave without realizing at least one building block to mend. Jane express to Maura why you're here and why you asked her to marry you."

Jane was seething, her blood boiled through her veins. She expected the conversation to get real but not this quickly and not this heated. Why the hell did she agree to therapy, she contemplated. Five minutes of uncomfortable silence drifted by before Jane opened her mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: this has been a lot fun in writing. I hope everyone is enjoying angst drama filled Rizzles. I love the feed back hope you enjoy this chapter.

Jane ran her hand through her unruly brown curls and sighed "I'm here because I love Maura. I asked her to marry me because I love Maura. Dr. Watson I'm sure you get a lot of confessions of love but it is that simple. My old was no poet but he use to say an old Khalil Gibran quote "And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." I hadn't left Maura for more than twelve hours and I never felt so numb. Maura had been gone a long time before we she left for DC but the plane ride back it dawned on me. And I sobbed like victims who have to come identify their children, with an emptiness and an aching." Jane paused then turned to Maura " I love you, it isn't a phrase that is programmed for me to blurt before we hang up the phone or while we brush our teeth. I love the crinkle in you nose, how you tilt your head when you're thinking, how you say my name, the fact you are vast wealth of knowledge the Google in you. Sometimes Maur you are Stepford wife, so perfect and I feel you analyzing me to see what's the most appropriate reaction when I just want you to hold my hand. I understand I'm the asshole in this but it hurt to know that you thought I gave you the ring because of DC. And I'm sorry I lost my temper."

Silence crept back into the office creating an thick and stifling atmosphere. Maura's hazel eyes were blood shot red, but that was the only thing that was out of place on the ME. Jane had slouched in her chair, her scarred hands covering her face.

"Why did you say yes Maura?" Rizzoli shattered the silence " Why do you even love me, since for the passed six months I've been a villain?"

"Our fifty minutes is up," Dr. Isles sighed "Next time"

"No, you said fight. I have cut myself open and bleed in front of a practical stranger. No offense, Dr. Watson. You have to give me something," Jane pleaded.

"Rizzoli you always want everything on your time. I don't why I said yes or why I love you. I don't know now. There is a lot of things I need to sort out."

"Hey Doc what the hell are we doing? We don't have a building block here," Jane grimaced "Oh Jesus Maura you can't shut down on the one yard line. You wanted this, therapy to fix us and now I think we are more broken."

"Maura, Jane I have an exercise for you." Dr. Watson interrupted " It's obvious that you both have some deep seated issues with each other. I want you to write each other letters this week. How it feels to be apart, where you see yourself in the future, why you think this relationship is worth fighting for. I think we had a good first session. I hope you two try to enjoy the rest of your afternoon," Dr Watson said.

Maura and Jane were quiet the entire three block walk to Jane's cruiser. Regardless of the sour mood the detective and ME were in it was still a beautiful day. People were enjoying the last few days of summer of warm weather as they filled the sidewalk café's and restaurants in Somerville. Jane opened Maura's door before she slid to the driver's side.

"I want to go home," Maura whispered.

"You want to go back to DC," Jane shrieked?

"No I want to go back to your apartment and get some things. I'll stay with Frankie the rest of my visit. I promised your Mom I would accompany her to a doctor's appointment for you Dad. His insurance issued him a new primary physician," Maura replied.

"You know you don't have to," Jane said shyly.

"Like I said they're my family too. Whether or not I become your wife, the Rizzolis have been good to me."

"So you still have doubts?"

"Jane really after that display of … look I just need some space. I need to collect my thoughts."

"Maur just stay in the apartment and I leave my car. I can catch a ride to the precinct with Frankie, plus he has that shitty futon. You don't sleep well on those things."

When Rizzoli pulled up to her apartment, she handed Maura the keys and started walking. She wanted to say good-bye, something but felt if she would said anything see would burst into tears. Jane walked blocks before she realized she wasn't that far from the Dirty Robber.

"Where's Maura," Frankie asked? He noticed the beads of sweat that covered his sister's forehead and the damp stains on the back of her shirt.

"Two shots of Cuervo," Jane tapped to Murray

"So I'm guessing therapy went well," Frankie smirked. "C'mon Korsak and Frost have a booth and Frost is buying the next round."

"Where's Maura," Frost and Korsak said in unison.

"Taking a break," Jane grimaced.

"I remember that look," Korsak grinned "Don't worry you and the Doc are strong you'll get through this."

"Doesn't feel like it," Jane chided

"Hey I want to make a toast," Frost smiled "To no worries. Hakuna Matatta."

"How many has he had?" Jane questioned.

"I don't know six. Our young Barry Frost just found out today that his wife is pregnant with twins," Korsak laughed.

"Congrats Frost," Jane said "Holy shit twins, I guess you'll be asking for overtime."

"Two babies, Denise is having, two babies. Jesus I was just expecting the one. I'm have to hack into someone's bank account for two babies," Frost belted.

"Hey Frost it's going to be ok," Frankie laughed.

"I know Hakuna Matatta," Frost slurred.

"Let me take him home," Korsak sighed.

Angela kicked Jane's apartment door due to the large lasagna tin in her hand. Usually she would have used her key but she knew Maura was back in town.

"Hey Angela," Maura smiled.

"Hi, Maura, let me go sit this down so I can give you a hug," Angela said.

"Jane isn't here, I think she's at Frankie's," Maura whimpered in the midst of their hug.

"Frankie's why she over there," Angela asked?

"We had a fight in therapy, I may have over reacted. Jane left me with the keys and just started walking down the street. Honestly Angela do you think Jane and I should get married?"

"If you're asking were you the person I'd always hoped my daughter would spend the rest of her life with? Then yes, Maura you are exactly what I hoped for Jane. You are sweet, kind, generous, and caring you have been an angel through every Rizzoli ordeal. Jane and Frankie getting shot, Frank having a stroke. You have been a blessing to our family. No you're not exactly who I envisioned my daughter standing next to at the altar. I thought you would have facial hair and a penis but still a delightful surprise," Angela smiled.

"You and Frank have both been wonderful. It just Jane can be so acrimonious at times," Maura sighed "I mean angry" she corrected.

"Janie always had a lot on her shoulders. She always taken care of everything. Sometimes I think it was unfair how much pressure Frank and I put of Jane especially when Tommy began to have his problems. You know she's so strong, sometimes you forget that she's still fragile, human. When you have children you'll see you'll love them different, not more or less but different. Tommy or Frankie I fought their fights but Jane never, the only battles we've ever had have been about her profession and her relationship status."

"She doesn't have to be superwoman at least not for me. In fact that was the root of one of the arguments we had today."

"Yeah, well Jane is no Clark Kent."

"You mean Lois Lane, Superwoman was derived from the Lois Lane character."

"I never pegged you for a comic book reader."

"Well, I'm full of mystery." Maura winced.

In that moment the front door flew open. Jane stumbled with Frankie to the couch.

"Dammit Maur how many times do I have to say lock every single lock," Jane yelled unaware of her mother and Maura in the kitchen.

"What wrong with Frankie," Angela exclaimed.

"Ah Ma he's just a little drunk apparently Frost is having twins and the boys were celebrating early," Jane smiled. "Don't worry Maura. I'm giving you space I just needed to pick up Frankie's spare key and some clothes because he dropped his keys in a gutter," Jane continued.

"I'm taking him home," Angela chided "You girls have more talking to do. C'mon get your drunk ass off Jane's couch and you're spending the night with Pop and me."

"Noooooo Ma," Frankie complained but after a quick smack with the back of ladle to his head Frankie jumped up and complied.

Once everything was settled and Angela and Frankie were safely made it home. Jane went to the fridge and grabbed another beer.

"I would ask what you and my mother discussed but I'm afraid we'll have nothing to shout about in therapy," Jane scoffed between sips.

"I can't argue anymore with you today. I'm going to bed."

"It's 9:30, what are you eighty?"

"No but I am tired. I taught a seven o'clock class before catching the flight this afternoon. I may have over reacted Jane but you have never said "Fuck you" to me and that caught me off guard. I never knew you were so angry towards me." Maura sighed before she disappeared into the bedroom.

It was well after midnight when Jane finally decided to go to sleep. The alcohol had warn off and she figured it was safe to be sober because Maura was asleep. A quick shower and Jane slipped into her Spongebob pajamas, then into bed. It was force of habit for her to wrap left arm around Maura, her body forgot the memo they were fighting. It was only seconds before Maura snuggled closer resting in her usual position. Jane kissed Maura's neck as was customary during their bed time habit and Maura pecked Jane's lips. Except this time, the peck evolved into a passionate kiss with fleeting oxygen and warm ebbing and flowing tongues. Maura slipped her fingers beneath Jane's pajamas pants into her sweet spot as Jane returned the favor. It was quick and dirty, the act lacked love and affection but was wracked with carnal lust.

"Whitewashing," Jane scoffed as she pulled her pajama bottoms.

"No I'm a sexual being and not a cheater," Maura spat.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: thank you for the reviews, they are truly love. Hope you like this chapter. Peace and Love!

"Out of sight, out of mind," Maura exhaled as she opened the door to her Georgetown row house. Tuesday had been hellish and almost unbearable but Wednesday when her plane touchdown at Reagan the tension began to melt away. Maura had managed to keep the unburden sensation for the remainder of the week as she poured herself into the new position. Unfortunately it was Friday and she came home to a house on filled with unpacked boxes and her disregarded thoughts.

"Out of sight, out of mind," Maura whispered again this time only less convinced. She and Jane still spoke everyday even if their conversations were brief and sterile. The lines of communication were open even if it was just habitual nighttime rhetoric. She dropped her bags on the couch, then opened a bottle of Chianti and the bruschetta she picked up from her favorite café on M street. She was halfway through the bottle and an episode of Nova when her door bell rang.

"You're not dressed," Lt. Grant sighed as he waved a corsage over his head. "I'm so glad I'm early. C'mon Dr. Isles hop to," as he pushed his way through the door.

"Dressed for what Joey," Maura puzzled "The state dinner. Sorry it totally slipped my mind."

"I tried calling you this morning to remind you but you were in class. I left a message with your secretary. I would've called again but I was in a restricted area all day. Hey we have an hour before we the car comes and picks us up so you have some time."

"Great I only need, forty-five minutes," she smiled "I opened a bottle of cab but there is beer in the fridge. Make yourself at home."

Dr. Maura Isles was an aficionado at the art of getting cleaned up. She spent most of her debutante years attending balls or accompanying her parents or Garret to formal events. The most time consuming part of the entire ritual was choosing her ensemble; it took her at least twenty minutes to thumb through and gawk at the plethora of couture clothing. She settled on a Chanel dress with a pair of Cole Haan shoes which at the last minute she switched for a pair of Mahnolos. A quick wisp of tinted moisturizer and bronzer, some eye shadow, then mascara a pluck or two of her eye brows then some lipstick. She returned down stairs to her living room, where she found Lt. Grant yelling at a Red Sox game.

"Damn Maura, now I understand why Jane put a ring on it. You are absolutely stunning. That dress falls in all the right place," Grant cheesed while he made a silhouette of Maura's frame with his hands.

"Put a ring on it?," Maura quizzed as she cocked her head to the side.

"If you like it than you should've put a ring on it," Grant sung as he gyrated around the room "Beyonce. It's a song meaning that if you wanted me you should've married me. It was one of our intern's ringtone for her boyfriend, I heard all night one stake-out."

"Oh," Maura smirked.

"The car's outside, we can leave if you're ready. I'm so glad that you're here to accompany to things like this since Paula and I broke up."

"Think nothing of it, we're friends Joey," Maura smiled.

While Dr. Isles and Lt. Grant made there way from Georgetown to the White House. Jane headed from the precinct to the Hungry Mother in Kendall Square. The Hungry Mother was one of the best southern restaurants in New England trendy but still held the down home sensibility.

"Sorry, I'm late," Jane said "I'm Jane Rizzoli." Jane extended her hand to the red haired woman engrossed in her blackberry at a corner table.

"Tonya Willis," the woman responded. "Captain Rizzoli, you're ten minutes late but my last couple just ran over. In future, I do appreciate punctuality. I understand you're keeping the city safe but my time is just as valuable as yours. Mrs. Isles didn't give me a lot of information, what exactly would you like to plan?"

Tonya was a Boston transplant originally from Memphis, a BCU graduate who'd been event planning for Boston's elite, celebrities, and politicians for the past fifteen years. She had inviting blue eyes, Cheshire cat smile, a healthy frame and a thick southern drawl. Although, Mrs. Willis was in her late forties, she was still very attractive.

"An engagement party for about a hundred people. I'm not big on style or theme. I just want it to be nice," Jane smiled.

"How nice are we talking Ms. Rizzoli," Tonya questioned?

"Fifty grand all in," Jane replied.

"Wow, I don't want to offend you in anyway but I've been planning the Isles' events for the past decade. Karen Isles and I have become decent friends over the years. She said I'd be lucky if I got ten grand out of you but I'm sure you're aware that she hates you."

"Very aware," Jane grinned "I've made some prudent investments over the years. Don't get me wrong what I have isn't shabby but it is a drop in the bucket compared to the Isles. When Maura and I started dating , I began to save for this day. I always knew she was the one. I wanted to contribute something substantial to the event."

"Well Jane in this recession fifty thousand can get you more than what it did a year ago. We should be able to handle things tastefully. So is there any venue you had in mind?"

"Somewhere nice enough not to embarrass the Isles but not so fancy that it makes my parents and friends uncomfortable. Most importantly it has to reflect Maura. My initial proposal wasn't as romantic as it should have been. Plus I would like it to be on the third of October that was the first time we told one another that we loved each other," Jane's smiled.

"You really love her. You haven't stopped grinning since you sat down Jane," Tonya said as she retrieved her iPad from her Birken bag "Same-sex marriage has really carried me over this recession gap. God bless the state of Massachusetts. I have a couple of places in mind. We can set up something traditional at the Mandarin or the Ritz. Or if you want something more private they're a few homes I can rent in Beacon Hill or Brookline." She scrolled through the options on the screen.

"The hotels seem pretty generic, I'm not sure about the house. It's not really Maura."

"Maura is a brainiac, before I started my business I was Karen's assistant. Maura was always beautiful but she seemed so isolated and lonely. As a teenage she never hung out with friends, or at the mall but was constantly read or spent her time in the basement lab. When I think of Maura, I think museum. In fact that is perfect."

"Museum?"

"Yes, I know for a fact that the MFA isn't open on the third because of their First Friday's event. The New England Aquarium is open on that date. Imagine it Jane, you greet your guest with cocktails and exotic fish while a jazz band plays old standards. Classy, different, tasteful, Maura."

"You're brilliant," Jane grinned "I mean now I understand why you are the best. Even though I was skeptical when Mrs. Isles stopped by my office this morning with your card. "Ms. Rizzoli," she chimed , "If you insist on marrying Maura please make an attempt to keep it out of an Elk's lodge. Tonya is the best and don't worry I already arranged some discounted rates for a person in your position." Ms. Rizzoli I've know the woman almost a decade and she has never call me Jane. I am glad that I did take the old bird's advice."

"Don't worry my services are gratis," Tonya chuckled "I always saw Maura like a little sister even though we lost touch when I stopped working for her mother. When I saw her on Martha's Vineyard last year at her parents end of the summer bash, she looked completely different. Maura was outgoing, social, I mean completely out of her shell. She wore the same stupid grin that you're wearing now. I never saw her smile like that ever not even with Garret. And the entire world expected her to be Mrs. Fairfield. I want this to be special for the both of you.

It was a warm summer night but the humidity was mild and people filled the streets of Georgetown. Maura postponed her inevitable contemplation about Jane and their relationship by offering Lt. Grant a nightcap. They sat on Maura's terrace which overlooked the street and the Potomac at a distance.

"I hope scotch is ok," Maura winced as she handed Grant the short glass "On the rocks right."

"Yeah, perfect is this double or single malt," Grant asked?

"Single, twenty year scotch. The dean gave me the bottle as a present. He said that every good professor has a bottle of scotch to soothe the wounds inflicted by idiotic, bastard, man-children, otherwise known as grad students," Maura chuckled.

"Sounds like good advice," Grant said "I remember as rookie, my mentor said Joey everything happens in the spotlight so make sure your face is always shinning and your nose is always brown. I guess he was right cause I just had dinner with the President."

Comfortable silence settled on the pair like a blanket. They were both lost in their own thoughts as they listened to the wind rustle through the trees, friends laugh as walked down the street, and the occasional car horn.

"How did you do it," Grant whispered just loud enough to pierce the quietness?

"Do what Joey," Maura smiled?

"It is no secret that I've had a crush on Jane since I was six. It never really worked out for me or any man. Poor Agent Dean. Not to say you guys aren't a wonderful couple because you are. I mean you're great together. What did you do that she let you in, that she didn't push you away. How did you get her to stop being.."

"Jane," Maura interrupted, "Honestly she is still tough, defensive, and demanding as ever. Jane has to be Superwoman. I don't what I did or how I beat you fine gentleman out of a relationship with her. I don't know, we just happened."

"Just happened," Joey smirked "I was expecting statistical data, facts, a lecture Dr. Isles. Your response wasn't scientific at all."

"We were friends for awhile before we started dating. It is not uncommon for friends to become lovers or partners. In fact 75 percent of women have been sexually attracted to their best friends."

"So were you always attracted to Jane?"

"I've always thought Jane was gorgeous but I'm not sure when the attraction became sexually charged. I guess if I had to pinpoint a day it was the first time we said "I love you". Actually it was not the first time we said those three words but the first time it was different.," Maura paused.

"We were sitting on a bench in the Commons people watching, talking. Well mainly I was talking about the fascinating process of photosynthesis and how it was the catalyst for the fall foliage. Jane spots an old couple searching for an empty bench. They seemed as if they had been together since the beginning of time but they were still holding hands, still gawking at each other like two teenagers. Jane offered them our seats and we began to walk back to the squad car. An awful gust blew through the park, Jane takes off her jacket as if it was second nature and drapes it over my shoulders. Then she stared at me with those beautiful warm chocolate eyes; I said "I love you" but in the moment of admission, my face turned fire truck red. Nonetheless, Jane didn't panic or ask me what's wrong. Instead she laced her fingers with mine and whispered "I know, I love you too," Maura continued "It was an instant realization, until that moment I had been oblivious to the fact, although there were signs. That moment solidified us for me."

"Damn," was all the Grant could muster.

They sat in the warm summer night, a little longer until Grant's ex Paula called and he excused himself to leave. Once again Maura was left with her thoughts, to battle the pro and cons ,the who's right and who is wrong of her relationship. Although, she tried to be critical her thoughts managed to drift to the afternoon in the park which lead to the night in the kitchen the reason why she had the emerald on her finger. So Dr. Maura Isles, Queen of the Dead decided to write.


	6. Chapter 6

_Jane,_

_I'm not sure, where to begin. I know this is not a dissertation so I'm going to try my best not to plague it with facts, anecdotes, and idioms. You'd never asked, why I came back that Saturday night, after you left me in Washington. Truthfully, I came home to break up with you. I owed it you, to tell you in person, so I came right away before I lost my nerve, before I could reason that we could be salvage. You were right when you said , I'd been gone awhile prior to the move to DC. I was shocked, you even noticed I wasn't there anymore because you'd long disappeared. So I went to your apartment expecting you to be there. I'd written out my speech during my flight on my PDA and I was ready. Fortunately, you weren't there. I paced briefly until I decided to grab a beer and watch television to settle my nerves. There it was in HD, Jane's 35th__ birthday, the tears poured from eyes like a monsoon. I was inconsolable, although Jo Friday tried. When you finally made it home, you were drunk and I was livid because I realized how much I love you. I've never been so angry in all my life because I felt like I was attached , consumed by a relationship that was destroying me. The same relationship that was once my saving grace. I never felt so conflicted. _

_The only thing that changed my disposition were your tears. I don't think I've seen you cry since your father had his accident a year ago. You use trust me with your tears, your hurt, and pain. I don't why you stopped or what changed because it disconnected us. When you took away your vulnerability you made me feel like I was just another person on the Jane Rizzoli payroll, another person you were obliged to pay attention. You would not admit that anything changed which made me paranoid and crazy. That what it feels like to be separated from you. Lonely, angry, disheartened, sad. Physically being apart pales in comparison than being emotionally detached._

_Every time I look at my engagement ring, it gives me a sense of hope for our future. I know the amount of time, effort, and money you put into the ring. It reminds of how you uniquely have shown me your love and affection. I want the white picket fence, kids, and Sunday dinners at your parents. I want to grow old with you and be one of the elderly couples in the Common. It's hard not to imagine you in my future even when I tried my best. I want to be Maura Rizzoli-Isles._

_Why endure the tears, the sorrow, the hurt, why'd did I say yes, why do I love you, why is this worth fighting for? This is worth the fight of my life because I love you. I love your scars, the way you whine when you have to wear a dress, the way you defend my honor against the world and you still open my door. I love the fact you want to save the world even though there are moments your quest pulls you away from me. I love that you, love me. That you run 26 miles every year for me, endure opera for me, wine tastings, and my parents. You love me for me and in midst of all this discourse and tension I'd forgotten that. I'd forgotten that you love in spite of more than because of. We belong together, you are my match, my partner, my life. I'm sorry, I couldn't say these things when you begged but I've been so angry._

_I love you,_

_Maura_

Jane wished she smoked as she paced outside the stoop of Dr. Watson's office. Frankie offered to pick up Maura again from the airport if only to give his sister, a warning of Maura's mood. They were running late, Jane stared at her watch until she heard the screeching tires. The door of Frankie's unmarked cruiser flew opened and Maura literally did a hop four inch Chanel heels.

"Sorry, we're late Janie," Frankie belted from the driver seat before he sped off.

"My plane was delayed on the tarmac at Logan. I have no clue why. We still have forty-five seconds to get in there before we're late," Maura smiled.

"You're smiling," Jane laughed "I guess Frankie's green is a go text message was right."

"Really, Jane you have your little brother screening my disposition," Maura said as she rolled her eyes.

"Can you blame me?"

"No"

Jane and Maura both inhaled deeply before they took their seats. Dr. Watson offered the same warm smile she'd given them the couple's initial visit. Yet this time it did not ease their apprehension.

"Relax and welcome. You guys looks so tense and apprehensive. Deep breaths." Dr. Watson said "I see you've made it a week and you're still talking and are those smiles."

"Yes," Jane bashed.

"Well we are going to start today with our letters, then discuss from there. Jane and Maura would you please exchange your letters."

"Don't you want to read them first," Jane asked?

"No we'll discuss whatever sections you want to address in this safe space. Jane your marriage, it exactly your marriage. The thought and feelings that you share with Maura and whatever Maura shares with you are yours and no one else. So ladies please start reading," Dr. Watson stated.

Jane took Maura's lavender custom envelope and she handed her own plain white envelope. She was glad that she did take the time to buy some decent stationary from Papyrus.

_Maura,_

_Lately all I've been doing is spilling my guts. I suppose now shouldn't be any different. They're aren't many things or people or ideas I consider myself attached to. I've spent most of my life keeping people at a distance but I wasn't very successful with you. In your own awkward, persistent way you challenged me to better. You made me want to read more, do more, live more outside of a crime scene and my apartment. Some how you persuaded me to allow myself to love you with the depths of me and allow you to love me with the depths of you. _

_When you got the offer from George Washington, I panicked. I had a debilitating fear. I walked Joe Friday a lot because I would panic attacks and vomit every morning when you would stay over. I spent those nights just watching you sleep, thinking that all of this would soon be coming to a halt. I could kick myself now for my reaction but you know I'm no good at emotions. I thought the best course of action was swallow hard and let you go. _

_Then one day the jeweler called and told me the ring was ready. I started the process of buying the emerald and choosing the setting long before any school had sent you an offer. Now I have this ring and my brother Tommy who hates that I'm lesbian convinces me to propose. Some where I gain the courage, I make the preparations and they become the best laid plans. _

_I was devastated but by then I realize you were gone. We didn't hold hands, or talk during dinner, we only laughed at the Dirty Robber. Whatever free time we spent running or helping out my parents. When we made love, it seemed habitual instead out of passion or love. I was so miserable because I couldn't find the words and I couldn't break down my walls. So we were slow dancing in a burning room. Being apart physically is hell, I don't sleep, I fidget, I'm more moody. Emotionally being separated, it is beyond words how painful that is. _

_I imagine us in the future with a house, children, the American dream. You embarrassing our children at Pop Warner or Little league games or me embarrassing them because I clapped to loud after their concerto. When we retire, I want to be the old couple in the top-dollar RV that collects jam and magnets from every city and state. The couple that has an unhealthy amount of Kodak moments with their grandkids. I want a life with you whether we build it or buy it off eBay._

_This is worth fighting for because I'm fighting for my life, my true happiness. You are my promise, that there is someone for everyone. I watched Korsak get divorced three times and my parents rockiness because they weren't really compatible. They got married young and it was shot gun wedding. You get me and you let me be me. You're supportive of my family and my work. I can't imagine existing without you. Understand that you are my life and that's ultimately what I'm fighting for._

_My love always,_

_Jane_

Jane cried as she folded the lavender letter back into it lavender envelope. Maura wiped her tears with her silk handkerchief, pulled her close and held her. Dr. Watson watched the pair for some time before she broke the silence.

"Jane, why are you crying," Dr. Watson asked?

"Because Maura wasn't just sad, she was angry. I was turning the sweetest, kindest person I've ever known into someone cold and bitter. It hurts, it stings to know that I was killing both of us by trying to handle our situation, alone. I'm sorry Maura, you have my word that I would never do that to you again."

"Maura, how do feel about Jane's letter," Dr. Watson asked?

"Some parts were painful. I didn't know all that Jane was going through physically and emotionally. It hurts to know that I was denied to be a best friend to my best friend. Jane look at me, I swear on my life if you ever pull a fucking stunt like this again, I will kill you myself," Maura responded.

"Maura we don't make threats in the safe space," Dr. Watson chimed.

"Jesus language, Dr. Isles," Jane smiled "A promise is a promise Maura. Never again, I swear on all that is sacred."

"Cause I love you and I'm tired of living in fear that I'm going to lose you. I've never questioned you about work even though I'm terrified of riding in ambulance with you covered in your blood, again. Jane you have to stop being so wreck less with everything. You're my partner, not my heroine, so just love me, respect me but not only that love and respect my love for you and my sacrifice," Maura yelled.

The room became dead silent, now Maura was sobbing and Jane was consoling her.

"I'm so sorry, Maur," Jane repetitively whispered like a broken record.

When they exited Dr. Watson's office, the sky was an ash gray and it had begun to drizzle. The detective and the ME hadn't spoken a word to each other since they left but they held each other's hands.

Jane called her secretary, she would not be returning for the day as she lead Maura up the stairs to her apartment. Maura made them peanut butter and fluff sandwiches while Jane grabbed two beers out of the fridge. The ME wrapped her arms around detective and they fell asleep on the couch watching old John Hughes movies.

"Wake up, Maura," Jane whispered in the doctor's ear "Wake up, or you won't be able to sleep tonight."

"I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight," Maura smiled. She licked her lips, then pulled Jane completely on top of her as she slid her hand beneath Jane's slacks. "I was planning to grade papers," Maura continued.

"Stop, that I'm trying to be serious. I have a present for you but if you rather open later. I rather be sweaty, sex, funky and naked in my bed, it can definitely wait," Jane laughed as she pulled off her tee shirt.

"Wait it isn't 24 karat gold chocolate because that was the worst gift you ever gave me, Why in the world did think I wanted edible gold, I mean the only edible gold I've ever ingested was Goldschlager. I haven't done that since I was a freshman in college. Besides my beautiful engagement ring, your make-up gifts have always been odd and awkward. For instance, the great fight of '08 when you bought me a trip to go vineyard hoping in Florida. I am appreciative, but flowers, dinner, wine and back breaking sex is all the apology I need."

"First of all, the first vineyards in America where planted in Florida and we had an awesome time on that trip. Secondly, you're right my apology gifts are a little elaborate but what do you get the woman who has everything. Christmas, Valentines, your birthday and our anniversary already send me into tailspin. So you end up with a rotating wine rack that plays Bach when it spins. It's the thought Maura. I'm going to have to take Prozac, when Mother's day is on the list," Jane teased.

"Very funny Rizzoli. Now give me my present or you won't be able to use the contents of the sock drawer later," Maura chided.

"Oh, it's going to be a sock drawer night. We haven't had one of those since…"

"Five months, 12 days, and 14 hours but who is counting. So give me," Maura whined. She grabbed the brown box that Jane had on her lap and opened it. Maura gasped as she opened one of the black invitations.

_Please join us to celebrate the engagement of_

_Dr. Maura Isles and Captain Jane Rizzoli_

_Friday, October 3, 2010_

_Eight o' clock in the evening_

_New England Aquarium_

_Boston, Massachusetts_

_Hosted by Mrs. Tonya Willis_

_RSVP : Mrs. Tonya Willis 555.990.000_

_September 15 _


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful comments. They are very encouraging. KEEP EM COMING. I hope you readers like this chapter.

"Ma, hurry up or we'll be late," Jane belted from her parents front door. Frank was already downstairs in his Sunday's best, he leaned one hand on his cane as he offered Jane a shot with the other.

"What's this, Pop," Jane smiled.

"Grappa, your uncle Paulie brought it back for me his last trip to Sicily. Drink it, it'll put hair on your chest but at least it will give you confidence," Frank smiled as he brushed the brunettes curly locks out of her tan face.

"You think it will be that bad," Jane sighed before she emptied the tiny glass.

"Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. No matter what happens we love Maura, nothing could really ever change that. I'm stroke survivor and I was able to limp away because of Maura's meticulous care. Angela and I think you did good. Who cares what Karen and Ian Isles believe. It's going to be okay sweetie I'm going to be on my best behavior but I can't speak for your mother," Frank said.

" Right," Jane smirked. "Ma come on."

Angela Rizzoli appeared in a navy cinch waist dress with a beautiful white blazer on top. Her hair was pulled neatly into a bun and her make-up was flawless.

"You look beautiful," Jane gasped "You're just meeting the Isles not the Kennedys but you look exquisite."

"Although, I'd prefer you wore a dress the suit looks nice on you," Angela said.

"It's Armani, Ma it makes everyone seem beautiful," Jane smiled "Ok let's go."

Jane had slowly become unsettled as she drove through the streets of Charlestown into the Back Bay. Sorellina was one of the premier Italian restaurants in the city, upscale and posh décor combined with innovative and sultry Italian cuisine. Jane took a deep breath and threw her keys to the valet. Whether it be God or grappa she'd hope something showed up to her rescue if this all blew up in her and Maura's face.

The Isles were waiting in the atrium when the Rizzolis arrived. Jane was the first to offer an introduction.

"Dr. and Mrs. Isles these are my parents Frank and Angela Rizzoli," Jane said.

"Please call me Ian," Maura's father smiled as he extended his hand.

"And I'm Karen," Mrs. Isles chimed "Mrs. Rizzoli that is such a lovely frock. St. John?"

"Yes, how did you know," Angela questioned.

"I saw it in Saks," Karen replied.

The two families made customary small talk as they waited to be seated. Mainly they spoke about the weather and traffic. It made Jane tired, the cordialness and dryness of the conversation but she perked up when her phone rang. She quickly excused herself and muttered "Work. Maura I need your professional opinion." When they made it outside of the restaurant, Jane thanked Frost and hung up the phone.

"Wait, what was that about? I thought Frost was calling about a case," Maura questioned?

"You look so beautiful tonight," Jane said as she reached for a kiss. "No, I have Frost and Korsak calling me at strategic points throughout the night giving us the option to bail."

"Umm, sneaky," Maura sighed "You are so sexy in Armani, I wish we could leave our parents and well you know."

"Hey Dr. Isles, no ideas. I made it up in my mind if we can survive this unscathed we may have a chance at a drama free future. One without bickering in-laws," Jane laughed.

"You've been drinking," Maura asked as she fixed her lipstick in her compact.

"My father gave me a double shot of grappa, straight from Italy which I'm quite sure was made in some old woman's bathtub, next to the hanging lines of pasta. Don't tell me you didn't have a glass or two of cab before this," Jane questioned.

"No a glass or two of scotch with my dad in his study. You taste like cleaning fluid Rizzoli, whatever your dad gave you had to be 180 proof. Jane, I love you and whether or not our families get along or bicker it doesn't change us."

"I love you, too. I know. Although, what's up with the ice queen Karen she seems awfully subdued and slightly friendly," Jane laughed.

"Xanax and vodka," Maura replied "Oh don't be shocked if she calls you Jane."

Their families had already been seated when the couple returned. Maura laced her fingers with Jane's as the both inhaled deeply before they sat down.

"Maura, your mother and I was just talking about grandchildren. Are you two going to consider adoption.? And Janie, Karen sits on the board of the Boston chapter of PFLAG, this is the first time I'm hearing of the organization. Jane why didn't you inform me. Also, why haven't you girls picked a date, the engagement party is next week?" Angela quizzed.

"Angela," Frank scoffed "Let the girls sit down before you start interrogating them."

"Well, I would like to know about children," Karen stated.

"Jane and I would both like to start a family but I think are main focus is on the wedding night," Maura replied "In fact I have the proofs from our engagement photos if you would like a glance."

Maura situated a three prong notebook between the two mothers, hoping to evade any further questioning. The mothers ranted and raved about how photogenic their children were. Mrs. Isles and Rizzoli both told a lengthy anecdotes about their daughters and bad pictures.

"Is this the Commons," Angela asked.

"Yes, Ma it's our spot in the city where we talk and people watch," Jane replied "We really want this entire celebration to be about us. That's why the engagement party is at an aquarium oppose to the Mandarin. We want it uniquely reflect our relationship."

"So what date uniquely reflects your relationship? I think Maura would make a beautiful New Year's bride," Karen chimed.

"I don't know Maura would you like to be a New Years bride," Jane chuckled as she took a swig of Chianti.

"No, mother we decided it would have to be some time in the spring or summer after the spring semester is over. Jane and I definitely want to live in the same city, same house when we are married. I would have to make plans to move back to Boston. There are a panoply of details we have to consider," Maura responded.

"You know Maur, I've been thinking on the subject of you moving back. Joey offered me a position with Homeland Security and I have a good standing with the bureau. I know that you really love teaching a G-dubb and just because we're getting married doesn't mean you should give that up."

"Jane, you would leave Boston" Maura shrugged?

"We're not attached at the hip, Boston and I mean," Jane replied.

"I don't know Jane we have to talk this over. What about your father," Angela questioned.

"What about me, Angela. I'm fine, if Janie wants to move to DC. How far is that from Boston?"

"A ninety minute flight, Frank, five hour train ride, and a seven hour drive," Maura replied matter of factly. "Don't worry Angela no decisions have been made this is the first that we are all hearing of this."

"A date," Karen peeved.

"May 14," Maura chided "Jane is May 14 ok."

"It's whatever you want, just tell me what to wear and where to show up," Jane smiled "I'm sure you and our mothers will come up with a lovely event."

"You're kidding, Jane. Honestly you don't want to be apart of any of the wedding planning," Maura quizzed.

"No, I had my fun planning the engagement party. You're very specific and detailed, I'm quite sure you've been planning for this since the first grade. I don't want to interfere with your vision, princess," Jane replied.

"Great," Karen exclaimed.

"What do you mean by great," Angela scoffed.

"I'm ecstatic I don't have to worry about taste. Oh and I've arranged for Jane, your family, and whatever miscreants you've intended to invite for etiquette lessons. I don't mean to offend you, Mrs. Rizzoli but I am the upper echelon of the Boston society and this will be the event of the season. The Isles and Rizzoli wedding," Karen chimed.

"Miscreants, I'm not sure what that means Mrs. Isles but the Rizzolis aren't miscreants. We are a hard working people something I can tell from your behavior you know nothing about. We may not be as fancy and as proper as you but we have something you obviously don't CLASS," Angela belted.

"Ang, lower your voice," Frank hoarsely whispered.

"No," Ian bellowed "We are not bickering, arguing, screaming, or belting across this table. My daughter, our daughters are getting married. This is going to be a peaceful celebration. So Karen put your claws away I see the Xanax has warn off. Mrs. Rizzoli my wife can be difficult and I apologize for her insolence. Everyone's attitude and deep seated issues are going to take a back seat over the next few months. I grew up with fighting grandparents, it put a strain on my parents relationship and me in awkward position of a bidding war for my affection. I'm not doing that to Jane and Maura or to our future grand children. So pipe down ladies and play nice."

"Thank-you Dr. Isles. I think you've settled everything. Ma, Pop do you agree with the good doctor."

"Yes," Frank said emphatically "Couldn't have said it better myself. Angie?"

"Ok," Angela murmured.

"Mother," Maura questioned.

"Truce," Karen replied.

After Jane drove her parents home, she returned to her apartment and found Maura waiting on the stoop. It was a beautiful night as stars peeked through the uncovered spaces on the tree lined street. Maura had a tin chest filled with ice and Coronas that she had been handing out to, of age neighbors.

"Can I have one," Jane smiled as she laid down some newspaper before she sat.

"Sure, only you would sit on a stoop in Armani. I love that about you Jane," Maura sighed.

"Ok Maur, what's wrong and why have you opened a stoop-side bar," Jane questioned?

"I felt like beer and I felt like sharing," Maura responded "Do you think we survived tonight unscathed?"

"Hell yeah because of Dr. Isles to the rescue. I mean it could have been worst my mother could have picked up her fork and lunged. I thought the shit was going to hit the fan when my mother rolled her eyes and said "what do you mean by great?" In mind I was like awwwwwww shit, here we go, it's my first communion all over again."

"Your first communion?"

"My mother got into it with my father's sister, my Aunt Gigi. She went on and on about how my dress had come from JCPenny, the food had too much garlic, and the decorations were cheap. Why did Franco marry such a tramp? I mean my Aunt Gigi went for the gusto and my mom slapped her. It was something off of Jersey Shore."

"Jersey Shore?"

"It's a ridiculous show Frankie and I watch sometimes about young idiotic guidos and guidettes on MTV. Trust me the experience is mind numbing, something you would hate watching."

"Jane do you think I'm an egregious elitist, a snob like I could be anything like my mother," Maura sighed?

"Is this why you're handing out beers like at a Sox tailgate? Sweetheart you have your snobbish moments but you are nothing like your mother. I think it is completely endearing sometimes, like when bought that massive cedar wardrobe. The thing sits in my living room but at least your clothes aren't bitten by moths. Anyway you're a snob that's slumming just look at the broad you're marrying," Jane chuckled.

"Are you serious about moving to DC," Maura asked?

"Yeah, Maur why not? I know you were getting bored as a ME . Now there's a light in you since you've been teaching. If you move back to Boston after next semester, what would you do?"

"Be a homemaker," Maura chuckled.

"Funny, Dr. Isles," Jane chided.

"No I'm serious. You are right I love teaching. I could easily teach a biology class or two at BCU, it's not forensics but it's still molding young minds. I want to be your wife, I want to be a mother not a new lesbian power couple in DC."

"How soon would you like to have kids?"

"Soon next year maybe," Maura replied. "Once a woman becomes thirty- five the chances of complication and deformation increase tremendously. I thought we could ask Frankie, if he would be a donor?"

"Next year," Jane sighed "Wait, Frankie?"

Silence had extinguished the couples conversation, the only sound was rustling trees and passing cars. Jane too afraid to speak just laced her fingers with Maura as she contemplated her next words. Things were finally normal, Jane thought, and she didn't want to regress but she didn't want to be a doormat. Her phone rang salvation from her thoughts.

"Rizzoli," Jane spat.

"Is this Detective Jane Rizzoli," the man's voice.

"Yes, that's why I said Rizzoli," Jane chided.

"This Dr. Mark Peterson at Sinai, I'm calling you to inform you that Detective Vincent Korsak has suffered from a severe heart attack due to the shock of impact in a car collision. You are his advance directive and we need your presence."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Reviews are love. Thank you for all your comments. This gets a lil messy but it works out in the end. ENJOY!

"Frost," Jane whimpered "How quickly can you get to my apartment? Korsak's hurt real bad at Sinai, I think I've had too much to drive."

"Ten," Frost stated before he hung up.

Jane grabbed two beers out of the perspiring metal tin, uncapped them, and chugged them down like a co-ed. Maura quietly rubbed the scar on Jane's right hand as she finished another beer herself. Maura had accepted long ago that her life was complicated beyond her control. She was an unusual but an exceptional human being, nothing was ever simple but everything held a complexity. Maura sighed, "This is Boston."

Jane shrugged, she understood what the ME meant. Jane had come to terms that her life was complicated beyond her control. She lived the saying "if it's not one thing, it's another." If it wasn't her girlfriend being kidnapped by mobsters, Jane was being terrorized by a serial killer. If it wasn't for her brother getting shot, it was her father having a stroke. If it wasn't for Karen and Angela fighting, it was Korsak having a heart attack. Jane was halfway through her forth beer before she and Maura saw the flashing lights.

"Get in," Frost yelled as he slowed his cruiser. "It's more complicated than you thought," Frost sighed.

"What do you mean, Frost," Jane asked?

"I got a call from the traffic investigator as a courtesy. They found an empty bottle of Jack, the car reeked of alcohol and Korsak was apparently throwing them back at the bowling alley tonight. I don't know why anyone let him drive," Frost cracked.

"Jesus," Jane cried.

"It's get's worst, he hit a tree but before that he hit a Corolla with four college kids from BU. The driver died on impact, the other four students are in critical condition at Sinai. This is going to be a media nightmare, Jane. So start considering what you are going to say," Frost stated calmly with a slight tremble in his voice.

"Shit, Korsak is a good cop and now he's going to be demonized," Jane whispered.

When they arrived at Sinai, the local media swarmed at the edges of the front door at the emergency room. The circus scene sobered Jane quickly, she appeared as if she'd never had a drop that evening. She exited the car and offered her hand to help Maura out.

"Captain Rizzoli do you have a statement at this time," The media shouted "Will Detective Korsak be suspended or face prison time?"

Jane stood like a peacock with her chest out and her head straight "At this time, I'm unaware of the details. Vincent Korsak, is a decorated detective and he has faithfully served the city of Boston for almost thirty years. There is nothing more that I can say at this time," Jane replied.

Once the three evaded the sight of the lurking media. Jane found the nearest bathroom and vomited. What the hell was she going to do? Korsak was her mentor, saved her life. Now when he wakes up he's going to have to endure the perp walk. Maura had become worried, so she started banging on the door.

"Jane, Dr. Petersen and Chief O'Malley want to speak to you," Maura said.

"Just a min," Jane replied.

Everything seemed surreal, an out of body experience. It was like watching movie; the tubes hanging out Korsak's mouth and chest, the tears of the parents that came to identify their children, Frost's blank stare and O'Malley's disgust. Jane sat next to Korsak in ICU, held his hand. The old detective was still unconscious and only had a thirty percent chance of survival. She stayed until four a.m. before she caught a cab home. Jane needed a shower, a warm bed, and Maura in which to hide away even if it was only a couple of hours.

Maura was asleep with Jo Friday on the couch. Her reddish blond hair was pulled back but her bangs swept across her face and the scruffy dog appeared so content in her arms. The sight warmed Jane's heart from the frigid events of the evening.

"You're home," Maura whispered. "I was going to call but I remembered from when you were in ICU that no cell phones are allowed."

"I wanted to get home to say good-bye before you caught your plane back," Jane said before she caved into the couch.

"I can't return to Washington, now. I'll rearrange my meetings and classes. Jane we will work something out," Maura replied as she tried her best to sound reassuring.

"No, Maura don't rearrange anything for this. Korsak made a poor decision it has already cost two lives and maybe his own. I'm exhausted with everything, right now. I know you want to help, console me, assure me but honestly. I want to take a shower, get in my bed and just hold my fiancée as I get lost in her scent of jasmine and clover. I promise, I'm not hiding. I don't want to talk about anything now, I don't want you reading my face."

"Ok," Maura sighed.

Jane wanted to cry, sob, weep but tears seemed as far away as sleep and rested mind. The priority of her existence, her life laid in her scared and bruised hands; the Doctor who was silently weeping in her arms. Maura was terrified, emotionally spent as she tried to curb the urge to see her lover's face. Jane was right; all she wanted to do was analyze her obicularis oculi, occiptofrontalis, her auricular muscles, the list could continue. Science made life rational for Maura, even emotion could be explained away and remedied like a disease. Jane's emotion was raw, torn, and conflicted; Maura knew these things without a glance but she needed a view for own satisfaction.

"Turn around," Jane ordered "Your fidgeting and we're not going to get any sleep. So cut the lamp on the side table and have a good look at me."

"No, Jane I know you don't want to be evaluated and there is no guarantee that I can comply with your request. It was disheartening to think that every emotional response I offer in crisis is base on a clinical study. You may be right. I don't want to live a life questioning my emotions, adhering to the advice of clinical studies. I don't want to be sterile because I love who I am with you. Life is very real and in color when I hold your hand."

"Maura I don't want you to change. I've come to appreciate your cyborg ways. We can't have two over zealous emotional people in a relationship. You're the smart and sensible one, remember. Just as much I've opened your eyes to emotions, you've taught me how to be reserve and grounded. We balance each other, honey. I'm exhausted."

"Well come here let me rub your back it always helps you sleep."

"Not that kind of exhausted. Ok I am physically tired but I'm tired of this. You said earlier "This is Boston". We live on pins and needles here, Boston doesn't allow us to be the white picket fence couple that you dream of."

"Our occupations will never allow us to be the white picket fence couple. The fact that we are a homosexual couple will technically not allow us to be the white picket fence couple. Boston is our home, it's where our friends and family live," Maura stated.

"I'm aware of that it's also where my obligations live. I don't want to save the world anymore, I don't want to put you in the position of being the dutiful wife. Every time holy hell breaks lose, here I am to the rescue and there you are enduring and mending my wounds. We can't do that forever, it has already taken a heavy toll on our relationship in three years. Can we really survive thirty at this pace?"

"No we can't," Maura sighed "Do you think Homeland Security will be different than Boston PD?"

"No, I just need a break. You know what I mean," Jane sighed.

"Running away from Boston won't change anything; it will just exacerbate the entire situation. Your family will still be your family and your friends will still be your friends. This is your life, Jane."

"No you are my life, this is what I was killing time with until I met you. Maura you are everything to me."

"I understand you are emotionally drained but this too shall pass along with your fear and disappointment."

"You know Maura I just feel like we are enduring life instead of enjoying it. I don't want to raise a family here."

In that moment it seemed as if the world had been set ablaze. Jane alarm clock and both of her cell phones blared into the still morning. "Rizzoli," she coughed, she decided to answer Dr. Petersons call first.

"Captain Rizzoli, Detective Korsak vitals have stabilized although he is still unconscious. It seems we're almost out of the woods. There are some forms that we need you to sign as soon as possible," Dr Peterson said,

"Great, glad to hear it," Jane lied. She believed if Korsak died at least he couldn't witness the defamation of his career.

"Good Morning, Chief O'Malley," Jane sighed.

"Cheer up, Rizzoli we have some great news. I guess Korsak just happened to have a bottle of Jack in his car because his tox screen came back under the limit. Although, he had a high dose of oxycotin in his system, Gina in PR has a great way to spin this. Korsak is still fucked but the department can save face. Come down to my office now we have a press conference at 8," O'Malley spat.

Jane willed herself out of bed, once she stood on her feet she felt her apprehensions faded and her armor appeared. After a shower, half a cup of joe, and a passionate kiss from Maura, she was prepared to face the world. Jane selected a charcoal suit, a powder blue oxford shirt, and a new pair of her infamous black boots. She even took time for foundation, concealer, and lipstick, then pulled her brunette curls into a uniformed bun. Maura sat in awe as she watched Jane's facial muscles relax, the structure exuded confidence. The sight was a complete shift from Jane's facial expressions just an hour earlier.

"Is that Ralph Lauren Black Label," Maura questioned "When did you buy all these designer suits? And those boots are PRADA!"

"Tonya convinced me to upgrade my image. We connected, you know she's from the other side of the tracks like me. She said "Be who ever you want be but what ever you decide make sure you are the best. Most importantly make sure the public perceive you as the best because perception is 90% of the battle. Clothes make the man," Jane smiled as she leaned to kiss Maura's forehead.

"I said that," Maura retorted.

"I know but I had to hear from someone who had walked a mile in my shoes," Jane replied.

"Tonya is persuasive and convincing. Come here," Maura said.

Maura retrieved the sterling silver cufflinks; she bought Jane one Christmas, when she introduced her to blouses with button-less cuffs. She slipped them in their holes, then smoothed the lapels of Jane's suit jacket with her hands. "I guess superwoman is locked and loaded," Maura exhaled.

"Yea, who is that knocking at the door. Did my mother say she was stopping by," Jane asked as she peeped through the tiny hole.

"Frost," she sighed when she opened the door.

"Hey Jane, I know you probably didn't leave the hospital til late. You must be exhausted, I just wanted to give a ride to the precinct for this press conference."

"I see you got the call from O'Malley too," Jane replied as she scanned Frost in his uniform.

"Frost, you are so handsome in your officer's regalia," Maura chimed.

"Thank-you Maura. I'm suppose to represent the diversity in the Boston Police Department. It also why Jane is making the statement. The brass pulls out all the stops when a hispanic kid and a black kid are killed by a white cop," Frost responded coldly "Jane I hate to rush you but we should go."

"Yeah, of course Frost," Jane shrugged.

It shocked Jane when she heard Frost chilling response. After all she, Frost, and Korsak were like family, at least she thought they were. She and Maura were the godparents to Barry's unborn children, Jane started to feel the cracks in her armor.

"Frost, what's up with that statement you made back there," Jane questioned.

"Jabari Williams and Marco Jimenez were Rhode Scholars expecting to leave for Oxford in the spring. They made it all the way from the projects in Roxbury, to a full scholarship at Boston University with an opportunity to study at Oxford. These young men were geniuses, brilliant and graduated from high school as some of the top students in the country. Imagine like a lotus flower emerging from the muck, these boys rose to greatness from the slums. Only to have it taken away because some one lack the indiscretion to call a cab," Frost choked.

"How did you get a file on the vics, so soon," Jane asked.

"Didn't need one, I've known them all their lives. They were," Frost paused "My little brother's best friends. We grew up in Sommerville but we still went to church in Roxbury and my mother as you know is all about the church. We were there all the time, grew up in same youth program as Jabari and Marco," Frost replied.

"I'm so sorry, Barry. I didn't know," Jane whispered.

"Like I said this situation is more fucked, than you know. Although, he was reluctant Korsak took me under his wing and tutored me into the lead detective I am today. The same man who killed my brothers. And O'Malley calls my house this morning, tells me to put on this uniform so they can have a black face in the shot. You will never know," Frost scoffed. "But this is Boston."

"Rizzoli," Jane exhaled into her phone hoping thankful she did not have to respond.

"Dr. Peterson at Sinai. Detective Korsak is conscious and asking for you. Where are you Captain?"


End file.
